Since Big Brother left Channel 4, I've been hard pressed to find really good trash TV to keep me going, fuelling my expectations of minor celebrity status. Luckily, I'm a Celebrity is back for its fortnight-long romp, and I'm reminded of how much I would love to have enough celebrity status to be invited to the Australian jungle, but how much I would probably hate everyone else who has the same level of celebrity as me.
Already I'm shouting at the TV, sighing loudly at any stupid comment, and wincing at the various trials. The pay is probably lousy as well, considering what you're put through. However, if that call came through, you can bet your bush tucker I'd drop everything to wade through cockroaches and chow down on genitals. After all, it's like the turtle and the slug, amirite?
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